Eli's birth story

It’s been almost 6 weeks since our second son was born.  It seems like just yesterday and also a lifetime ago…how is that possible?  In such a short time, I can’t even remember life without him.  I have been trying to figure out just how I wanted to write Eli’s birth story since the day he was born.  Sorting through emotions and expectations and the words in my head.  They’ve been slow to come, but as I realized the freshness of his birth has been slowly wearing off, I decided I should just start writing. 

Birth is such an amazing process to me.  And no matter how a woman welcomes another human being into this world, she should be proud of her accomplishment.  So, it is with great pride that I share the story of how Eli was born.  Not to brag but to celebrate him.  After all, the birth is as much about Eli as it is about me.  At my last appointment, the midwife asked when I was planning on going to the hospital and when I couldn’t give her a definite answer she said, “we’ll just have to wait and see what his story will be”.  And that stayed in my mind through the entire labor.

Eli’s official due date was February 6^th.  So naturally as the day approached I became increasingly aware of any and all “movement”, while at the same time telling myself nothing was really happening yet and that it would most likely be a while.  I was much more anxious this time waiting for labor to begin.  Even trying to figure out the best time to go into labor, as if it was something that could be managed for my convenience.  Although, it was more for my husband’s convenience since it is tax season.  I really didn’t want him to be awake for 24 hours or more.  But, life is messy and at 4:00 pm on February 7^th, Zac started screaming for no reason and wouldn’t stop.  A trip to the pediatricians and an hour later, it was a double ear infection for Zac and one stressed out mama.  I was much too pregnant to deal with that it a calm way.  Thankfully, as soon as we got home and got some warm olive oil drops in his ears he was back to his happy self.

Early the next morning, just before Brad left for work I got up to go to the bathroom and noticed that my water was leaking.  I was pretty sure it hadn’t broken, but wasn’t sure.  I had never felt it break with Zac.  I told Brad and asked what I should do.  (side note: one thing I love about marriage is always having a partner to defer to when I’m uncertain about something.)  He confirmed what I was already thinking.  A quick call to our doula, Erin to answer the questions I had.  She assured me it would stop, seal over, or break and begin labor.  Either way, we had time.   That felt like the longest day of my life.

A whole day of waiting….by the end of the day I was super anxious.  My water had stopped leaking, but I could tell things were getting ready.  I had been having inconsistent contractions and was frustrated that I couldn’t time them.  That night, after Brad had gone back to work I decided to do some stairs.  I went up and down our stairs for about ten minutes.  Then, sat back down on the couch to rest.  Within 30 minuets, during a pretty hard contraction, my water broke!  The rest of the evening went by quickly.  I called Brad and Erin, put Zac to bed and finished packing some snacks and our hospital bag all the while having only inconsistent contractions.  They were in no way time-able or predictable.  Brad got home and we decided we should get some rest.  But we were too excited to sleep. 

In true Brad fashion, he decided to do some last minute cramming and got out our Bradley workbook.  He was quizzing me and reviewing the emotional map of labor.  We joked about what stage we were in.  We started timing contractions sometime between 9 and 10pm.  They were 10-12 minutes apart and fairly manageable.  I was preparing myself for a labor similar to Zac’s.  Long, and predictable. 

After a few hours, my contractions were starting to get stronger and longer but were still pretty far apart.  We decided to head to Greenville and get settled into a hotel room so we wouldn’t have to drive in the middle of the night.  Riding in a car while in labor is very uncomfortable.  I tried to keep myself distracted with facebook and eating some yogurt. We got the last available room in the hotel.  After a few more hours of trying to sleep and being up every few minutes to use the bathroom, I was way too uncomfortable to lie down.  The contractions were still a ways apart but had gotten much stronger and were almost a minute and a half long!  I’ve come to think of my labor with Zac as painless.  The contractions were so mild compared to the contractions with Eli.  There were several contractions that almost felt unbearable.  I was tired and just ready to meet him.  And at one point I thought it would just be so much easier to go to the hospital, get the epidural, and get it over with.  I am so glad I didn’t listen to my doubts!  (fun fact: The self-doubt signpost isn’t typically experienced until transition, however, with both labors, I had it during active labor.  And, my emotional state during transition with both was determined, and focused…I just find that weird.)

Almost as soon as I decided to get up, my contractions turned a corner and went from 10 minutes apart to 3-5 minutes apart.  The strength and length fluctuated a bit but soon fell into a pattern.  We decided it was time to call Erin and have her come to the hotel.  I was anxious waiting for Erin to get there and was having trouble trying to figure out where I was at in labor.  It was difficult to track looking at the contractions.  They still seemed to be all over the place.  Looking back, I can see the pattern now.  Things were progressing quickly, and since my contractions were so strong, they were alternating between strong and mild to give my body a break.           

I was so relieved once Erin got there and she stepped right in to our rhythm, rubbing my back while Brad talked me through each contraction.  I knew we were fast approaching the decision of when to go to the hospital.  Even though it was right across the street, we didn’t want the move to interrupt the flow of labor.  We took Erin’s advice to wait until I turned a corner.  Within 30 minutes, that corner was turned after her simple words, “let go”.  Giving birth is a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual process and it’s amazing how it all comes together in those moments.  I remember that exact moment with Zac and this was that moment with Eli.  That moment when my body took over and I actively “let go”. 

The rest of the labor was kind of a blur and is only marked in my mind by the contractions I had.  I had one as I got in the car, one or two in the car, one on the way to the door, two at the check-in desk and two on the way to the room.  It literally seemed to go by about as quickly as it took to read this paragraph.  The contraction I had right outside the room I involuntarily started to bear down.  Our midwife, who had met us at the check-in counter, started to take off my coat and hurry us into the room before the contraction was even over.  Brad had gone to park the car and was not in the room yet.  There seemed to be so many things going on at once, definitely not the quite, dim peaceful environment of the hotel room.  A nurse was asking several questions, while the midwife was trying to get me in a gown.  The midwife even answered the question about whether or not I wanted an IV for me.  I agreed to put on a gown, but had a contraction as they were trying to get it on me.  I think I was beginning to realize that it wouldn’t be long before we would finally meet Eli. 

There were several things that were new to me at this stage of labor that caused me to freeze up in a way.  The pressure was so intense that I felt like I couldn’t move.  The nurse and midwife asked if I wanted to move to the bed, but I declined.  I was standing/squatting when Eli was born simply because he came so fast, I didn’t have time to think about moving.  In fact, the only thing I remember thinking was that Brad was going to miss it.  There were only a few pushing contractions before Eli was born.  Brad got there just as those contractions were starting.  And when the midwife asked if I wanted to catch him, I shouted out “no” because I felt like I couldn’t move. 

I got to hold him immediately after birth and we got about an hour to bond and nurse.  We did all the things hippie/crunchy/granola people do when they have babies like letting the cord finish pulsing before cutting it, waiting for the placenta to deliver on it’s own, refusing eye drops, shots, and tests etc.  All of which seem to be utterly important before you have a baby but not so much when you are holding the tiny thing in your arms.  However, I am glad Eli will benefit from those decisions and we got the extra bonding time.

One thing with Zac’s birth that I always had trouble accepting was how awful I felt afterwards.  I felt like I had gotten run over by a bus.  For weeks.  Everything I had read about having a natural birth said that women feel great afterwards.  Well I didn’t believe it.  Zac’s birth was practically natural with only a few interventions at the end, but I felt horrible.  I always said how Zac got all the benefits of a natural birth and I got none.  And now, after Eli, I finally got the benefits of a natural birth.  I felt amazing!  Only as tired as I would have felt after being awake for almost 24 hours.  That alone is enough reason to prepare for a natural birth.  Erin also encapsulated my placenta, which I believe was a huge benefit to me.  Here's a great website for more information on placenta encapsulation.

I love how both of my sons’ birth stories are unique to them.  So individual and different.  And so far, their personalities and temperaments are living up to how they entered the world.