Creating Community Through Strong Friendships

As Brad and I prepare to go through life group leader training at our Church, we have become acutely aware of how unworthy we are of such an awesome opportunity.  Part of the training process is to read Creating Community by Andy Stanley.  A great book from what we’ve read so far.  Two things penetrate my heart thus far:

1. Fear of intimacy

“People who fear intimacy think that if others really get to know them, they won’t like them.  So they would rather stay disconnected than risk rejection.”

2. Selfishness

“Isolation breeds selfishness.  Over time, a disconnected person becomes self-absorbed.  He gives in to one of the fatal by-products of disconnection: self-centeredness.”

I could talk about how this is true for all of us.  But, why waste my breath? (er, finger muscles?)  The reason this goes right to my heart is because it’s been so true of my life over the last few months.

I’ve written before about feeling isolated.  The more isolated I become, the more I fear intimacy and the more selfish I get.

No excuses. 

Just truth. 

I long for community.  

We all do if we’re really honest with ourselves.  But what does that look like?

The index to subjects in my Bible gives these verses under friendship:

1 Samuel 23:16 “And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.

Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

            24:26 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

27:10 “Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you-better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. “  *the text note says, “Do not fail a friend in need; when in need rely on friendship rather than on mere family relationships.”

What a great picture of friendship!

Friends: Help you navigate a relationship with God.

   Love you.

   Are honest with you.

   Are there when you need them.

Still, my favorite illustration of community from the Bible is Exodus 17:8-16.

Here we find the Israelites in battle again.  Moses sends his most talented and strongest men to fight.  Yet, it is God who is in control. 

“As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.”(v.11)

This isn’t the first time Moses holds up his hands to the Lord (read the rest of Exodus to see Moses using his staff for a variety of amazing God moments like the parting of the Red Sea).  The note in my Bible says that raising hands is a “symbol of appeal to God for help and enablement”.   So, Moses goes up on a hill during this battle and appeals to God for help to win.  And the Israelites win, as long as Moses continually keeps his arms raised.  Could you imagine how tense his muscles must have been? 

Go ahead.  Try it.  I’ll wait. 

How long did you last?  A few minutes at best?   

That’s why Moses took Aaron and Hur with him.  So that,

“When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it.  Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset.”(v.12) 

Moses had some great friends who were willing to hold his arms up all day in order to win the battle.  And together, they made their appeal to God with all the strength that was in them.

I want to be that kind of friend. 

And when I have a battle to fight, I want those kinds of friends by my side, helping me hold up my arms to God.

But it doesn’t just happen.

Friendships like that have to be cultivated.

So, Brad and I appeal to God and ask him to cultivate those friendships in our life. 

The kind of community that we all desperately need.

Until then, we are just two fallible, ill-equipped people trusting God for something bigger than ourselves.